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Mad that you were passed over for a big promotion again? Livid that
the bootlickers always seem to get ahead in your organization? Perhaps
it's time to consider whether the anger itself, however legitimate, is
holding you back. Evidence suggests many of us are walking around the
office feeling resentful, though we may be unaware of the cumulative
toll bitter actions take on our careers and coworkers.
According to a report by Donald Gibson of Fairfield University and
Sigal Barsade of Yale University, one out of four employees is
substantially angry at work. The study, "The Experience of Anger at
Work: Lessons from the Chronically Angry," indicates most workers are
not so angry that they're ready to cause the boss physical harm, but
they are angry enough to sabotage him.
Workplace anger is not only potentially harmful to the
organization, but it can also cause serious health problems, including
chronic anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and heart disease.
Learning to deal with your anger constructively will improve your
well-being and make you a more desirable and promotable employee.
Why Are So Many Employees Angry?
According to Gibson's survey, workplace anger is most often
directed at an employee's supervisor or the organization in general.
"Feelings of anger at the individual level are a signal that a wrong
has been committed or that goals are being blocked," Gibson says.
I spoke with twelve employees from a variety of businesses about
their anger at work. Each felt that one or more of the following caused
the anger:
* Employee was promised a raise, promotion or important project, and it did not happen.
* Employee was told to do something he felt was wrong or incorrect.
* Employee could not live up to a supervisor's expectations,
because the expectations were too high or continuously changing.
* Supervisor was a micromanager and criticized employee frequently.
* Employee felt better qualified and skilled than his supervisor.
* Another employee doing the same job made more money.
Sometimes the anger may stem from outside sources. Many times,
employees are dealing with stressful events in their own lives, and the
resulting anger can carry over to the workplace. Divorce, a death in
the family, financial pressure, and serious illnesses can all cause an
individual to become overwhelmed and irritated. Rarely are we taught to
deal with loss and stressful situations, so we tend to bury those
feelings, which can turn to anger or rage over time.
Steps to Control Anger Constructively
We all become irritated or angry every now and then. What can we do
to control that anger and be more constructive? Gibson, who cowrote
"Managing Anger in the Workplace" as a follow-up to the survey, offers
the following strategies for controlling anger:
* Avoid anger as much as possible. This doesn't mean suppress your
feelings, but rather improve your outlook on yourself and life so there
are fewer situations in which you would become angry.
* Think about your anger and determine if it really makes sense given the situation.
* Control your physical response to anger by doing constructive
things, such as exercising, getting enough sleep and avoiding alcohol.
The healthier you are, the more likely you are to respond appropriately
to situations.
* Let go of unmanageable anger. Many situations will be out of
your control, so it is important to let go of this type of anger. Ask
yourself, "Can I resolve whatever it is that's causing this anger?" If
you can't, then you need to let it go.
* If you feel anger and are having a difficult time dealing with
it, see if your company has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). EAP
providers typically allow employees to see therapists in these
circumstances. You don't have to live in a state of bitterness, anger
or rage. If you deal effectively with your anger, you will increase
your chances of being promoted at some point -- and of being an
effective leader when the time comes.
When Anger Strikes:
* Take several deep breaths.
* Repeat a calming word or phrase in your mind, such as "relax" or "stay calm."
* Slowly count to ten.
* Ask yourself, "How would my favorite leader handle this situation?"
* Avoid tensing up your muscles. As soon as you can, close your
eyes and consciously think to unclench your jaw and loosen your
muscles.
* Listen to your favorite music.
* When you're feeling angry after you leave work, change clothes
as soon as you get home. This simple gesture will help you change your
state of mind.
